The Surprising Power of This or That Questions for Personal Growth

What Are “This or That” Questions?

Defining the Concept

This or That questions are a simple yet powerful tool for self-discovery and personal growth. These questions present you with two choices, often contrasting or mutually exclusive, and ask you to choose one option over the other. While they may seem trivial at first glance, “This or That” questions can reveal a lot about your values, priorities, and thought processes.

Examples of This or That questions

  • Would you rather live in a big city or a small town?
  • Do you value financial stability or personal fulfillment more?
  • Would you prefer to be a leader or a team player?
  • Is it more important to you to be respected or liked?

The Benefits of Asking Yourself This or That questions

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Gain Clarity on Your Values and Priorities

By forcing you to choose between two options, This or That questions can help you uncover what truly matters most to you. Your choices reveal your core values and priorities, even if you’ve never explicitly articulated them before.

Challenge Your Assumptions and Biases

These questions can also challenge the assumptions and biases you may hold without realizing it. When faced with contrasting options, you may discover that your initial reaction contradicts your stated beliefs or values, prompting you to re-evaluate your thought patterns.

Practice Decision-Making Skills

Regularly answering This or That questions can strengthen your decision-making muscles. You’ll become more adept at weighing pros and cons, considering different perspectives, and making choices that align with your authentic self.

Explore Different Perspectives

By presenting opposing viewpoints or scenarios, This or That questions encourage you to step outside your usual way of thinking and consider alternative perspectives. This mental flexibility can lead to greater empathy, creativity, and problem-solving abilities.

How to Effectively Use “This or That” Questions for Personal Growth

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Set the Stage for Honest Self-Reflection

Before diving into This or That questions, create an environment conducive to honest self-reflection. Find a quiet space where you can be alone with your thoughts, free from distractions and external influences.

Ask Questions That Resonate With You

While there are countless This or That questions out there, focus on those that resonate with your current life situation, goals, or areas of personal growth. Tailor the questions to your specific needs and interests.

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Don’t Judge Your Answers

Approach these questions with an open and non-judgmental mindset. Your answers should be honest reflections of your true self, not what you think you “should” choose or what others might expect of you.

Keep an Open Mind

Be prepared to be surprised by your answers and the insights they reveal. This or That questions can uncover hidden truths or aspects of yourself that you may have previously overlooked or dismissed.

Examples of “This or That” Questions to Ask Yourself

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Career and Life Goals

  • Would you rather have a high-paying job you dislike or a lower-paying job you’re passionate about?
  • Is it more important to you to make a positive impact or achieve personal success?
  • Do you value stability and security or taking risks and pursuing new opportunities?

Relationships and Connections

  • Would you prefer to have a few close friends or many casual acquaintances?
  • Is it more important to you to be in a committed relationship or maintain your independence?
  • Do you value quality time with loved ones or personal alone time more?

Personal Values and Beliefs

  • Would you rather stand up for your beliefs even if it means going against the majority or conform to societal norms?
  • Is it more important to you to be honest or kind?
  • Do you value personal growth or material wealth more?

Lifestyle and Habits

  • Would you prefer to live a minimalist lifestyle or have luxurious possessions?
  • Is it more important to you to maintain a healthy lifestyle or indulge in guilty pleasures?
  • Do you value spontaneity and adventure or routine and predictability more?

The Power of “This or That” Questions in Different Contexts

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Personal Development and Self-Improvement

“This or That” questions can be a powerful tool for personal development and self-improvement. By revealing your core values, priorities, and thought patterns, you can identify areas for growth and make more informed decisions about your life path.

Relationship Building and Conflict Resolution

These questions can also facilitate deeper connections and understanding in personal and professional relationships. By exploring each other’s choices and the reasoning behind them, you can gain valuable insights into the perspectives and values of those around you, leading to more empathy and effective conflict resolution.

Decision-Making and Problem-Solving

In decision-making and problem-solving contexts, This or That questions can help you clarify your priorities and evaluate different options more objectively. By considering contrasting scenarios or choices, you can approach challenges from multiple angles and arrive at more well-rounded solutions.

Creativity and Innovation

Exposing yourself to diverse perspectives through “This or That” questions can stimulate creativity and innovation. By stepping outside your usual thought patterns, you may uncover novel ideas, solutions, or approaches that you might have otherwise overlooked.

Embracing the Discomfort of “This or That” Questions

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Facing Difficult Choices

While “This or That” questions can be fun and thought-provoking, some may also present difficult choices or reveal internal conflicts. Embrace this discomfort as an opportunity for growth and self-awareness.

Dealing with Cognitive Dissonance

At times, your answers may contradict your previously held beliefs or values, leading to cognitive dissonance. Rather than dismissing or rationalizing these contradictions, use them as catalysts for deeper self-reflection and personal growth.

Overcoming the Fear of Missing Out (FOMO)

This or That questions often require you to choose one option over the other, potentially triggering a fear of missing out (FOMO) on the

Integrating “This or That” Questions into Your Personal Growth Journey

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Make It a Habit

To truly harness the power of This or That questions, make them a regular habit. Set aside dedicated time, whether daily or weekly, to reflect on these thought-provoking questions and explore your answers.

Involve Others for Different Perspectives

While “This or That” questions can be incredibly insightful for self-reflection, they can also be a powerful tool for fostering deeper connections and understanding with others. Consider involving friends, family members, or colleagues in the process by sharing and discussing your respective choices and rationales.

Reflect and Adjust as Needed

Personal growth is an ongoing journey, and your values, priorities, and perspectives may shift over time. Regularly revisit your answers to “This or That” questions and reflect on how they may have changed. Use these insights to adjust your goals, decisions, and actions accordingly.


This or That questions may seem deceptively simple, but they hold surprising power for personal growth and self-discovery. By forcing you to choose between contrasting options, these questions can reveal your core values, challenge your assumptions, and expose you to different perspectives.

Embracing the discomfort and cognitive dissonance that may arise from these questions can lead to profound insights and opportunities for growth. Whether you use them for personal development, relationship building, decision-making, or creativity, “This or That” questions can be a powerful tool for gaining clarity, fostering understanding, and living a more authentic and fulfilling life.

So, the next time you’re faced with a This or That questions, don’t dismiss it as trivial. Instead, embrace the opportunity to delve deeper into your own thoughts, values, and priorities. You may be surprised by the revelations that emerge and the personal growth that follows.

Can “This or That” questions be used in a group setting?

Absolutely! This or That questions can be a great way to facilitate discussions, build connections, and gain insights into the perspectives and values of others in a group setting. By sharing and discussing your respective choices, you can foster deeper understanding and appreciation for different viewpoints.

Is there a right or wrong answer to “This or That” questions?

No, there are no inherently right or wrong answers to “This or That” questions. The value lies in the personal reflection and self-awareness that the process of answering these questions can bring. Different individuals may choose different options based on their unique values, experiences, and circumstances, and that’s perfectly okay.

How often should I ask myself “This or That” questions?

There’s no set rule for how often you should engage with “This or That” questions. Some people find it helpful to make it a daily or weekly practice, while others prefer to revisit these questions during specific periods of self-reflection or when facing important decisions. Find a rhythm that works best for you and your personal growth goals.

Can “This or That” questions be used for decision-making in professional settings?

Absolutely! This or That questions can be a valuable tool for decision-making and problem-solving in professional settings. By presenting contrasting options or scenarios, these questions can help teams clarify their priorities, consider different perspectives, and arrive at more well-rounded solutions.

Are “This or That” questions only useful for personal growth, or can they have other applications?

While This or That questions are particularly powerful for personal growth and self-discovery, their applications extend far beyond that. These questions can also be used for team building, conflict resolution, creativity and innovation, and even market research or product development. The key is to craft questions that are relevant and insightful for the specific context or goal.